Wednesday, April 9, 2014

Morning Musings - Mean girls


It is 9am...
I have already called two people idiots this morning...:-(
The first a Keke guy who navigated the bend as I was about to do the same then parked right at the bend to drop passengers off...
Then at the Adetokunbo roundabout...Some lunatic driver doing insane things on the road...
Now I have said fresh prayers...praying those are the only "Idiots" I encounter today...

Anyway let us get to the musing of the day...
I fear I am becoming one of those girls...The ones I did not like growing up...
Lets go back and then I will tell you what I mean...
So growing up, I did not like girls...
I have always found girls mean...very very mean...
I liked boys, Boys liked me...end of...
Enter secondary school where I was not popular...I mean most people knew me because my mother was the Vice Principal but popular, in the "in" crowd? No...
And I did not like those girls...they were full of it and their life's goals then was how to attract boys...to be fair secondary school was about all boys...some books...but boys mostly...
Then University...which was different in a worse way...
This time I was firmly in the popular crowd...Notoriety became me for all the wrong reasons...
I did not fair better with the girls still...
I was subsequently involved in a pointless love triangle...
It was a case of "She stole her boyfriend"...Hilarious but the story of my life o...
This divided the girls...For me or for her...
So daft I just went back to hanging with the boys...I understood them better so...why not...
Afterwards I just decided I liked boys all together...They were less complicated...when they did not have feelings for you of course...
Now I have female friends...I just have a small small circle of them...
And managing female friends is hard labour...

So why the rambling...
I have entered mean girls zone...at Zumba of all places...
Let me introduce you to the Zumba Mean girls...
The ones who arrive early before 7pm (I was late on Monday, arrived 2 mins after 7pm...I heard so many "why are you late?"...You would think it was heaven I was late to...)
They are dressed in nice work out gear...Neon tops and trainers, crops, whatever...
They are not fat o but always agonizing about being fat...
Goal weight is skeleton proportions...
These are not the girls exercising to lose weight...This is a lifestyle...even if their men like some flesh...doesn't count...they are the judge of their hotness...and hotness is ribs protruding...
Always discussing meal plans, cleanses, Juices and healthy living...
Front row of the class always because the back is reserved for the bigger lazy girls...The ones who stop and groan from the intensity...
Competitively exercising...I mean when you want to stop sef, side glance and see your counterpart doing her jumping jacks like its filing her nails and gbam...energy rush...
No sighs and taking breaks...This is war...fat must die! and the irony is there is no fat to die...
Once you are front row you have to put in the work...
You are what the girls at the back see, you are their thinspiration...
Twerking and dropping low like strippers let loose from the clubs...
Results are important...You are only as good as how lean and toned you are...
Every ounce of weight gained is noticed...(I just returned from a two week food expedition and errmmm...)
Are you sick? Come to Zumba...It clears your airways and helps you sweat out toxins...
Do you have a date? Come to Zumba then go home and refresh...Post work out glow is the best...
Are you sad and depressed? Come to Zumba...It releases Endophins, Happy hormones...
SMH....

I am afraid I have become one of those girls...
Disaster...
Wait first...I am not mean...it was just inevitable since I am a beast at Zumba...Everyone who knows me knows I am a dance machine so its logical...
Add body dis-morphia and there is the ingredient for disaster...I mean everyday ribs are inspected...Hahahaha....
Snickers and side eyes for the girls who have been coming to workout for months and are the same size or still complain about how hard it is...
They come and ask "What do you do?"...
We answer...We come at least three/four times a week, we drink shakes/juices for breakfast...we put in the work...silently judging you because you came to work out last in January and you are asking silly questions now...Hiss
What is your excuse?
I just had a baby...ehen...so did Ngee our resident Zumba skinny bitch...She has lost three dress sizes since January...
Weird!
I shall leave this post with a conversation by the mean girls about another girl...

A: See that girl talking about doing a week cleanse when she has been coming here and has not lost 0.5kg...she cannot put in the work...she is not disciplined enough...
B: And I know her boyfriend o, He is Buff...Like six packs and all...Maybe he likes fleshy girls...
A: Lol...wait till you see his skinny side chick...
Hahahahahahahahahaha #dead

Gotta run to get on with the day...hope everyone's week has begun on a bright note...
Ciao Ciao...






3 comments:

  1. O gosh!!! I died reading this post, even funnier to more because most of the nasty/ evil comments are by *cough* and same chic who is trying to loose weight she doesn't have. *Cough* is Ciara btw hahahaha

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    Replies
    1. Hahahahahahaha! Fellow meanies know themselves...Guilty conscience is worrying you oooooo...

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  2. Ofcos you have joined the meanies... see you blushing at our dinner when everyone told you that you have lost weight and def their thinspiration..... You were revelling in delight at the compliments and gushing about your salads for lunch(ps i covet your new hot bod and hate you for it) Lol
    i am not a meanie at the gym but trust me i give the lazy ones(fat or slim) a side glance when they refuse to put in more work.... as they say double wahala for dead body... work that bod

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