Wednesday, April 23, 2014

The idea of me...


I walked the short distance towards him...him staring intently...
The first words out of his mouth were "Why are your lips so red?"...
I smile...and then I reply, Hello you too...
A slight frown as he tries to compose himself...then he says to me Hello...But really you know you have very defined lips so the red just draws more attention to it yes?
I reply now a bit curt...What is it to you? Is it your mouth?
He knows he should drop the topic now before curt becomes downright rude...
He knows well enough that rude is the natural disposition...
I am not surprised he has found something to yak about...
He always find something to lament about...I understand this very well...
After all it has been 14 years since he first laid his eyes on me and promptly told everyone who would listen that he is in love with me...
14 years....a really long time you must think...
But not so long for an idea...
The idea of me...
For an idea is indeed very powerful...

Lets dissect further...
Okay so how many people have liked something but do not really like it...
I cannot really explain it...
Maybe like me who likes the idea of relationships and always yaks about being alone but I actually set myself up to be in complicated relationships...
The kind that is not really heading anywhere...
The ones I can run from at the sound of "GO"!
I really like my company so much it has become a prayer point now...
I digress...
So yes it could be an infinitesimal thing or a really big one...
I have always thought that with him...and told him actually...
You know you do not really like me abi? You just like to say you do?...
I mean you think I am very strong headed, rude, proud, full of myself and much more...yet you are still "in love"? And you are not Jesus...
He has liked the idea of me so long that even faced with the reality he would like to remain in love with the idea....
I was a teenager when he laid his eyes on me...Lip balm was a luxury sef...
I probably had shaved head too and chubby cute cheeks...
Innocence was the idea...Fresh, quirky, bubbly, care free, whatever....
I am still some of these things although innocent is errrmmmm....;-)
So now an adult...He keeps fighting the picture he had in his head and the one I am...
I mean you cannot be in love with someone and not like who they are as a person....
I am sorry I cannot understand it...
Always moaning about everything...even critiquing the blog posts...
Every time you are always hanging out and getting plastered...
Hahahahaha....
Biko see me see problem oooo....

Well he is not the only one and I know many cases of this as well...
You meet someone and based on how they look, what they wear, where they work, what they do, whatever you have formed ideas of who they should be yes?
Then they reveal themselves to you and you cannot reconcile it...
The idea does not match the person...
Let me share another personal experience...
I met some guy at my friend's birthday dinner...I was the resident photographer so going up and down taking pictures, getting everyone to smile...
The life of the party, my default personality....
Exhausting personality I must add here...
So here is me being a comic, photographer and just being fun abi?
He is very interested...
He wants to hang all the time...and then he starts to moan and bicker...
You are no longer fun he says! Lmaoooooo
Me ke!
Nah you bought the act...I mean I am always fun but I am firmly a homebody... me in my best form is not very social,I love to sit in front of the TV most nights with a glass of wine and watch crime channels, I think Zumba is a religion too...
Plus when I have a lot of stuff to really do, I am a downright grouch and that whole bickering thing just drives me to new levels of meanness...
My friend said I chewed him up and spat him out...
This is how ideas start sef...

The idea of me...not to be confused with me...
An idea is only a starting point, one must bewilling to invest time and energy to nurture it into a dream or whatever it needs to be...
Maybe it will meets expectations, maybe it will not...
Maybe it will be better that even thought, maybe it will suck...
But if you are having problems reconciling...Maybe the problem is you...
We know who reads the blog...
Please surprise me and do not holler to discuss it....
Thanks in advance...:-)

Hope everyone's week has begun well?



1 comment:

  1. I daresay a lot of people have falling victim of this 'the idea of me' syndrome. At least, I have but until now, I have never really understood it ...wink!
    There was this damsel...anyhow, thanks for being so articulate hia.

    Enjoy!!

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